Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
A weekly movie podcast hosted by stand up comedians Ryan Cullen and Mark Nelson. Join them as they pick apart their film of the week. They might discuss movies, they might not, it’ll be a laugh anyway. Argumentative, unqualified and very very funny. Cullen and Nelson are Absolute Cuts.
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Episodes
Wednesday Feb 04, 2026
Wednesday Feb 04, 2026
"You can't handle the truth"
Episode 122 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 Code Red-ing, softball bat thinking, Guantanamo Bay-ing, classic A Few Good Men. Ryan and Mark talk about smelling your clothes, Netflix almost broadcasting a snuff film and whether murdering a Marine is ever okay.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Tuesday Jan 27, 2026
Tuesday Jan 27, 2026
"P-A-R-T-Y? Cos I GOTTA"
Episode 121 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 red dress smouldering, wolf whistling, Cuban Pete-ing classic The Mask. Ryan and Mark talk about how pathetic Andrew Tate is, getting a hair in your mouth and why The Mask is the villain of this film.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Monday Jan 19, 2026
Monday Jan 19, 2026
"I steer a little bit, but the reindeer do most of the work"
Episode 120 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2022 Santa vomiting, hammer wielding, chimney disembowling classic Violent Night. Ryan and Mark discuss Cullen's Dad committing crimes, the worst possible death imagineable and why Santa has a bigger kill count than most movie characters.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Wednesday Jan 14, 2026
Wednesday Jan 14, 2026
Here you go Cuts. The best of all the episodes so far. Our funniest clips so far as chosen by our wonderful patreons.
Apologies for our absence. This is due to circumstance massively out-with our control. All will be explained.
Mark and Ryan will be back next week with the last of your Christmas specials VIOLENT NIGHT and a patreon only episode where we tackle the classic BONE ALONE.
Tuesday Dec 23, 2025
Tuesday Dec 23, 2025
"Merry Christmas. Shitter was full"
Episode 119 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 tree felling, sled crashing, cat frying classic National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Ryan and Mark discuss Mick McCarthy, why some kids shouldn't get Christmas presents and how Clark W Griswold is the horniest movie Dad.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Tuesday Dec 16, 2025
Tuesday Dec 16, 2025
"PUT THE COOKIE DOWN, NOW"
Episode 118 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 neighbour shagging, reindeer lamping, Turbomanning classic Jingle All The Way. Ryan and Mark discuss Christmas gigs, the World Cup draw and how this film has the most inappropriate character in any Christmas film.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Wednesday Dec 10, 2025
Wednesday Dec 10, 2025
"Rand Peltzer, Fantastic ideas for a Fantastic World, I make the illogical logical"
Episode 117 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984 bright lighting, wet getting, after Midnight feeding classic Gremlins. Ryan and Mark discuss the various gifts that Cuts fans have given us, Robbie Williams' boyband Battle Royale and Nelson has theories about what Gremlins is actually about.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Tuesday Dec 02, 2025
Tuesday Dec 02, 2025
"Do heavy metalers eat chips, Larry?"
Episode 116 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 nappy battering, dog flattening, Packie Bonnar penalty saving classic The Van. Ryan and Mark discuss Scotland's triumphant return to the World Cup, Wicked and how we have now completed or first trilogy, the Barrytown saga.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Monday Nov 24, 2025
Monday Nov 24, 2025
"No Mr Bond, I expect you to die"
Episode 115 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1964 ejector seating, bowler hat tossing, Pussy Galoring classic Goldfinger. Ryan and Mark discuss why bullying needs to return, whether it is illegal to suckle on a cow or Bill Clinton and Nelson expresses his sheer joy about finally tackling a Bond film.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Monday Nov 17, 2025
Monday Nov 17, 2025
"Hey, look! It's a cock, but smaller"
Episode 114 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 pink misting, Deer Hunter viewing, bored in the deserting classic Jarhead.
Mark and Ryan talk about how Nelson's tour is going, argue over who is the most handsome actor and the funniest way to die on D Day.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree