Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
A weekly movie podcast hosted by stand up comedians Ryan Cullen and Mark Nelson. Join them as they pick apart their film of the week. They might discuss movies, they might not, it’ll be a laugh anyway. Argumentative, unqualified and very very funny. Cullen and Nelson are Absolute Cuts.
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Episodes
Friday Mar 27, 2026
Friday Mar 27, 2026
"I'm the bad guy?"
Episode 129 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 car ditching, roadworks bazooka-ing, Whammy Burgering classic Falling Down Ryan and Mark talk about the first episode of SNL UK, why Nelson won't order cocktails and which of the film's scenarios would make us lose it.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Tuesday Mar 17, 2026
Tuesday Mar 17, 2026
"Dog-pile of piss-poor physique on top of a small cock and hereditary alcoholism"
Episode 128 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 facial reconstructing, calfskin jacket jizzing, Alicia Keysing classic Smokin' Aces. Ryan and Mark talk about their upcoming live show, the Oscar results and rank this film's hitmen and women.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Tuesday Mar 17, 2026
Tuesday Mar 17, 2026
"Now I want y'all to repeat after me: penis, penis, penis; vagina, vagina, vagina"
Episode 127 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 whipped cream bikini-ing, mass concussion-ing, hook and laddering classic Varsity Blues. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson being aggressive at the cinema, Americans being angry at geography and how many crimes the kids in this film are allowed to get away with.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Wednesday Mar 04, 2026
Wednesday Mar 04, 2026
"The painting was gift Todd"
Episode 126 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 purple hearting, motorboating, under the table jerking classic Wedding Crashers. Ryan and Mark talk about cartels, the furore at the BAFTAS, and whether lying to get your hole is really that bad.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Wednesday Feb 25, 2026
Wednesday Feb 25, 2026
"Around me, if a woman don't wear mink, she don't wear nuttin'."
Episode 125 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1990 tommy gunning, tramp beating, flat-topping classic Dick Tracy. Ryan and Mark talk about Cullen's Valentine's Day card, joining the French foreign legion and why Warren Beatty is Hollywood's greatest shagger.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Thursday Feb 19, 2026
Thursday Feb 19, 2026
"How can you shoot a guy taking a dump? I mean, seriously, that's sacred"
Episode 124 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 Korean insulting, double crossing, cop snitching classic Street Kings. Ryan and Mark talk about how overrated cake is, the Superbowl and whether Keanu belongs on the Mount Rushmore of action stars.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Thursday Feb 12, 2026
Thursday Feb 12, 2026
"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"
Episode 123 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1991 liver eating, jizz flinging, Buffalo Billing classic The Silence Of The Lambs. Ryan and Mark talk about Epstein island photographers, sleeping in an airport and why this film makes Jodie Foster out to be the sexiest woman alive.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Wednesday Feb 04, 2026
Wednesday Feb 04, 2026
"You can't handle the truth"
Episode 122 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 Code Red-ing, softball bat thinking, Guantanamo Bay-ing, classic A Few Good Men. Ryan and Mark talk about smelling your clothes, Netflix almost broadcasting a snuff film and whether murdering a Marine is ever okay.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Tuesday Jan 27, 2026
Tuesday Jan 27, 2026
"P-A-R-T-Y? Cos I GOTTA"
Episode 121 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 red dress smouldering, wolf whistling, Cuban Pete-ing classic The Mask. Ryan and Mark talk about how pathetic Andrew Tate is, getting a hair in your mouth and why The Mask is the villain of this film.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
Monday Jan 19, 2026
Monday Jan 19, 2026
"I steer a little bit, but the reindeer do most of the work"
Episode 120 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2022 Santa vomiting, hammer wielding, chimney disembowling classic Violent Night. Ryan and Mark discuss Cullen's Dad committing crimes, the worst possible death imagineable and why Santa has a bigger kill count than most movie characters.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets and FRINGE SHOW tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree