Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Two comedians, one movie, and absolutely no guarantee of a sensible conversation. Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen chat about their weeks and whatever else is going on, before diving into a different movie every episode. Hilarious takes, questionable opinions, dark humour and plenty of unexpected tangents.
With a Patreon and Discord community, listeners can get involved, help choose the films and become part of the Absolute Cuts gang.
Episodes

3 days ago
3 days ago
1 hr 39 min
“They're here”
Episode 148 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1982 tree hugging, clown strangling, TV dimensioning classic Poltergeist. Ryan and Mark talk about Halloween decorations, Scouts and the many behind the scenes shenanigans of this film.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Oct 30, 2026
Oct 30, 2026
1 hr 13 min
“This is God”
Episode 147 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984 knife fingering, huge arming, phone tonguing classic A Nightmare on Elm Street. Ryan and Mark talk about trains hitting cows, hippos, and why Heather Langancamp is a freak in the sheets.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Oct 11, 2026
Oct 11, 2026
1 hr 14 min
“I don't mean to brag... but I'm the greatest”
Episode 146 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 Jeopardy-ing, slam dunking, yo mamma-ing classic White Men Can't Jump. Ryan and Mark talk about sexist tradesmen, decorating the Sistine Chapel and whether Rosie Perez ruins this film.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Oct 5, 2026
Oct 5, 2026
1 hr 48 min
"Stop eating my sesame cake"
Episode 145 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 hippo attacking, sign language-ing, gorilla lasering classic Congo. Ryan and Mark talk about the dark web, U2, and Laura Linney wiping out an entire species of mammal.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP

Sep 23, 2026
Sep 23, 2026
1 hr 17 min
"You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot."
Episode 144 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1980 gun-toting, sexually harassing, boss tying classic 9 to 5. Ryan and Mark talk about Ed Sheeran, an alternative Wizard of Oz and why Dolly's breasts are so pointy.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

Sep 16, 2026
Sep 16, 2026
1 hr 27 min
"Let's take it to the limit one more time"
Episode 143 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 mojito-ing, Ferrari driving, Go Fast boating classic Miami Vice. Ryan and Mark talk about how Nelson's cruise, Cullen's tattoo and whether this is a good film or a cool film.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

Sep 8, 2026
Sep 8, 2026
1 hr 27 min
"Yes they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell"
Episode 142 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 vigilante justicing, drink driving, constantly sweating classic A Time To Kill. Ryan and Mark talk about how much you think people would pay for your ransom, why comedian's posters are so bad, and discuss whether this is the sweatiest film of all time.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

Sep 3, 2026
Sep 3, 2026
1 hr 36 min
"Life, uh, finds a way"
Episode 141 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 DNA cloning, velociraptoring, 65 million years in the making classic Jurassic Park. Ryan and Mark talk about what you would do if you trap skin in your zip, Nelson being attacked and why John Hammond absolutely did spare expense.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

Aug 13, 2026
Aug 13, 2026
1 hr 18 min
"Did you just say you went "poopie"?"
Episode 140 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 mass ejaculating, hoover humping, horror spoofing classic Scary Movie. Ryan and Mark talk about escape rooms, the best names for substances and 6 reasons why this film would never, EVER get made now.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@hotmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please leave a 5 star rating and review if you have enjoyed and recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy the pod.
The Absolute Cuts soundtrack can be found here :
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7y4PQxrbJk7PJLz3IJKIot?si=1d999a719b17409b
You can also find both Nelson and Cullen at the various places below -
Mark Links
LIQUID GOLD Tour 2025/26 Tickets https://linktr.ee/marknelsoncomic
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube : Mark Nelson - YouTube
LINKTREE : marknelsoncomic | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree
Ryan Links
NEW SPECIAL https://youtu.be/_EIdRCFlCqk?si=jyznUrONsrcgfztP
Twitter : @RyanCullen90
Instagram : @ryancullen90
Tik Tok : @ryancullencomedy
Tour Tickets : https://linktr.ee/ryancullen90
Bookings : ryancullen90 | Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

Jul 16, 2026
Jul 16, 2026
48 min
A special peek behind the curtains of what our Patreons are getting as Mark And Ryan discuss the 2012 dodgy teachering, Vanilla Iceing, close relationing classic That's My Boy.
It is safe to say it is the wildest film we have ever seen so we thought it was too good to not get out to the public as well.
Patreons get these special Patreon nominated episodes as well as a whole host of other regular extras.
You can sign up here. It is only £3 a month you cheap sons of bitches.
Absolute Cuts Podcast | A Patreon for Absolute Cuts








